As soon as I knew we would be moving to Kazakhstan for my next assignment, Mary and I began researching names. Quickly, we found ourselves hovering around a group of names, most of which had the letter "z" in them--Zara, Izzie, Tazagul, and Sasha. Something about the genre of female Kazakh names with a letter "z" had the right ring to it. Recognizing that while my daughter will be her own person, we wanted something that connotes tough as nails and feminine. We see her being as comfortable competing in a skateboarding competition as she would be performing a solo ballet. We imagine she will teach complicated yoga inversions and hang from trees performing aerial dance in the park and also enjoy making waffles from scratch--feisty and feminine, kick ass and empathetic, brilliant and beautiful. We wanted a name with this kind of pizazz.
We continually found ourselves stuck: Zara would always be a department store and Googoush was best for the future family pet.
Along the way, we discovered the Kazakh traditional celebration of Besek Toi. In this tradition Kazakh parents invite relatives to a gathering around a new baby's cradle and an honored guest is invited to name the child. Without consulting the parents, the person decides on a name and whispers it into the infant's ear three times: your name is… your name is… your name is… and then the child is officially named.
Recently we had a dinner with a respected member of our community and shared the tradition with him along with the list of names. He listened to the names we were contemplating, internalized our preference for Z names and selected one from the list. Our plan was to recreate the Besek Toi party (a Kazakh tradition) and our honored member, 14-year-old Santiago Riano Fraser, will cup his ears on my belly and repeat three times, "Your name is Zaida Margaret Lovejoy." But, Zaida had other plans and the party will now be a “welcome to the community” fiesta and she will be the guest of honor. Instead, 14-year-old Saintiago was the first guest to visit us at the hospital tonight. He lived the Beske Toi tradition and whispered into Zadie’s ear … “your name is Zaida Margaret Lovejoy” three times less an hour aster she was born.
Zadie was born at 8:34 p.m. weighing in at 7.4 lbs and 20 inches.
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(The name is pronounced Zayeeda and she will go by Zadie, the nickname Mary discovered that we both love.)
The rest of our baby's community will follow the Kazakh tradition of dropping by and placing items into the cradle that mean something to the family and the future of the child. In ancient times, the gifts included a whip, a bridle, a fur coat, and a blanket. The bridle and a whip signified family hopes that the baby might ride a horse, be brave or even become a batyr--an honorific term for hero (as well as the name of a famous Kazakh elephant who was able to use a large amount of human speech).
We imagine the items our local village will
place in Zadie's crib: perhaps a Tibeten Tonka, a quartz bracelet, or letters
of affirmation completing her launch into Kazakh culture.
We have been telling the story of a tribal community who believes a child comes to life when his mother first has the idea to conceive it. The moment the idea is born, the child is born. The first time I heard this story, my heart pounded as I conceived both Santi and his sister Zadie. For me, to have one child was to have two. In the story, when the idea of the child is born, the mother sits under a tree and waits for the child’s song to come to her. She teaches the song to her husband and the women in the community. Throughout the child’s life--in the womb, at birth, graduation, and marriage, and someday at their death--the community will serenade the child with their song.
As our village did with Santi, we recently repeated this ritual to welcome Zadie into the world. Many honored village members proposed a song for her life and we chose Monica's suggestion of the Emotions 1977 classic hit, "Best of My Love," as Zadie's welcoming song.
Here is the video compiled from the suggestions received on my 41st birthday. Please join us in welcoming Zadie Margaret Lovejoy into the world. May she always receive the best of our love. During early labor, we and the nurses and doula watched this video as a source of inspiration. Mary recorded this scene and that too will be shared in the future.
We have been telling the story of a tribal community who believes a child comes to life when his mother first has the idea to conceive it. The moment the idea is born, the child is born. The first time I heard this story, my heart pounded as I conceived both Santi and his sister Zadie. For me, to have one child was to have two. In the story, when the idea of the child is born, the mother sits under a tree and waits for the child’s song to come to her. She teaches the song to her husband and the women in the community. Throughout the child’s life--in the womb, at birth, graduation, and marriage, and someday at their death--the community will serenade the child with their song.
As our village did with Santi, we recently repeated this ritual to welcome Zadie into the world. Many honored village members proposed a song for her life and we chose Monica's suggestion of the Emotions 1977 classic hit, "Best of My Love," as Zadie's welcoming song.
Here is the video compiled from the suggestions received on my 41st birthday. Please join us in welcoming Zadie Margaret Lovejoy into the world. May she always receive the best of our love. During early labor, we and the nurses and doula watched this video as a source of inspiration. Mary recorded this scene and that too will be shared in the future.
